...a glance through my eyes...

I find myself feeling very disheartened and lacking motivation of late. The physically draining days of a heavy job, mixed with the desire to try and do some exercise in the evenings is becoming very hard to do and most of the time I couldn't even be bothered to get out of bed in the morning, let alone doing anything else.
That dosen't even come close to the mental drain from continuous crap and dramas of everday life that keep getting thrown in my path by either life or other people, along with the struggle I have with the fact that my job of 18 years is not what I want to do and I no longer want to spend day after day with my hands soaked in blood....

I spent last Saturday with the missus. We went on a day trip up to the Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains.
The weather couldn't have been better and the scenery and views were absolutely breath-taking.

The air was so fresh and clean and the stress and tension on our faces slowly faded away. It had been quite a while since either of us had laughed so much and we genuinely had a great time.

I took some photo's with my camera so that everyone else could see the world through my eyes for a brief moment and also so I have a nice memory of this day.

shades of grey...

...do you ever stop and look at the world around you... and think I am so lucky to be here...

...I never really made the time for it before... but I try very hard to appreciate it every chance I get now...

...we spend most of our time in a routine of getting up, going to work, running around with the kids, cooking, cleaning, sitting in traffic, stressing, hurting, mourning, wanting more in life...

...and we end up forgetting to just simply look up... open our eyes... and see how wonderful life can be... and how beautiful the world around us really is...

...not everything in life is black and white... there are shades of grey surrounding us everywhere...

...and sometimes you feel like the whole world is going to come crashing down on top of you...

...and sometimes all you want is a bit of piece and quiet... or even just for world to stop for 5 minutes so you can catch your breath...

...I am in this frame of mind alot lately... and am struggling with a lot of hurt at the moment... trying to deal with feelings of anger and failure...

...and this is why I have written this blog... these photo's are of good memories of mine and they remind me of things I like to do...

...these photo's remind me of the places I like to go to clear my head and ease the hurt...

...I can sit and watch the ocean for hours at a time... I find watching water so peaceful and relaxing...

...I love going to the beach with my missus and my son... to taste the salty air on my tongue and feel the fresh sea breeze on my face...

... life is always full of challenges and trying times... and it is hard to always find the positives in the path that you take...

...I am not sure which direction this path  is taking me at this point in my life... but I find myself wanting to go to one of these places, just to sit, watch and think...

...if nothing else I just want this blog today to be like a diary entry for my son...

...one day in the future you may sit there and wonder if I missed you all the time we were unable to be together...

...and I just want you to know that it breaks my heart every day... and I miss of you all the time... I am sorry I could not be there... I love you Andrew... you are my son and I miss you so much... 10/05/2011

The great shell hunt...

Pip decided that our apartment needed a little beachy feel about it, so she thought a couple of crystal bowls with some sand and shells in them would do the trick... I thought that was a great idea and a good way to spend the day so I picked up Andrew and off we went, down to Cronulla for the great shell hunt...

the sun was so warming as it touched the skin and the air was so refreshing with the hint of the salty ocean spray... this is my ideal way of spending a sunny Autumn day...

Andrew had been house bound for the last month, since he broke his arm and needed the operation so it was good to get him out of the house and in the fresh air... we took him down to Shelly beach...

Pip and Andrew set out on the mission to find the best shells the beach had to offer on the day and I settled in to helping them with the hunt and watching the wonderful surrounds with my camera...

Pip and I love to be down at Cronulla.... whether we are on the beach... walking along the Esplanade... going for a swim... or even sitting and watching the ocean for hours as the world passes us by...

and I love to take Andrew down there as often as I can so he can learn a bit about his Dad...

Cronulla on Sunday 01st May 2011